


I Say Vol, You Say... Sanders Sides?

by phoenixyfriend



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Thomas Sanders References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 18:55:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11834928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixyfriend/pseuds/phoenixyfriend
Summary: In which Lance geeks out over Thomas Sanders and drags everyone along with him for a bit, trying to assign each of his friends (and himself) one of the aspects from the series.





	I Say Vol, You Say... Sanders Sides?

**Author's Note:**

> I headcanon Voltron as taking place circa 2073, which is why everyone references the current Sanders Sides videos as having happened fifty or sixty years earlier.

“You’ve never seen a Thomas Sanders video?” Hunk asked, looking up from the laptop he and Pidge had been crowding around, now that they finally had internet access again.

(“How?” Lance had asked. “Aren’t we too far away to—”)

(“Lance, do you know anything about quantum mechanics and Altean wormhole tech?”)

(“Right, you know what? I’m good without an explanation.”)

Keith shrugged. “I don’t really… recognize the name. I wasn’t big on memes.”

“I mean, the core of them were made in the 2015-2020 range,” Lance said, laying on his back on the couch and waiting for his turn at the computer. Now that they’d already gotten through contacting their families, the urgency was a little less intense. “So like… fifty or sixty years ago.”

“You’ve probably seen at least one or two,” Pidge said. “Shiro?”

“I’ve seen some of the early vines, and the… Sanders Sides stuff?” Shiro scratched the back of his head. “I think it was—”

“Oh my god!” Lance shouted, sitting up. “We’re all one of the original sides!”

Shiro leaned away, wide-eyed. Having been sitting closest to Lance, he’d been the one most likely to get hit by one of Lance’s wildly-flailing legs, and the one to get the brunt of the shouting. He carefully put a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “…what?”

“The Sanders Sides! There were five of them originally, right? Or, well, one person, three sides, and then they added in a fourth soon enough that he could be called one of the original set, but ultimately five ‘people’ for most of the early videos. And we could probably assign ourselves to each ‘character’ or whatever pretty easily, right?”

“Lance,” Hunk asked. “Is this an excuse to cosplay?”

“…well, if we were still on Earth, I’d say maybe,” Lance admitted. “But there’s not as much of a point up in space, so…”

“Dork,” Pidge coughed into her hand, and then smiled brightly when Lance shot her a hangdog look. “I said nothing.”

“I have _no_ idea what’s going on,” Keith said. “Shiro?”

“We could… probably find some of those videos?” Shiro said, seemingly at a loss. “I kind of want to hear who Lance thinks is who, though.”

“So, he’s… comparing us to fictional characters?” Keith hazarded.

“They’re all just facets of the one guy, though,” Hunk said. “Not actual separate people or personalities. Just… _treated_ as separate characters?”

“An internal debate, externalized through the magic of acting and video editing,” Pidge agreed. “Still, Lance apparently already knows who he wants everyone to be, and—”

“Roman,” Lance said, pointing to himself. “Keith is Virgil, Hunk is Patton, Pidge is Logan, and Shiro is Thomas.”

“… _Virgil?_ ” Keith asked, sounding appropriately bewildered for a boy who had almost no context for the current conversation.

Shiro tilted his head. “That… makes sense, I think? If I’m remembering whose name is whose correctly.”

“What’s your reasoning?” Pidge asked.

“Pidge is Logan is Logic, because she’s the super-smart, science-y, technobabbly one,” Lance said, getting a nod from Pidge. “Hunk is Patton is Morality, because he’s the nicest of us and also he makes… like, _all_ of the puns, which are basically the close cousin of dad jokes.”

“Shiro makes more dad jokes than I do,” Hunk pointed out.

“Yeah, but Shiro’s _the head_ ,” Lance said, like that explained everything, which… it kind of did. “Keith is Virgil is Anxiety, because he’s the broody emo one and even he admits he was at least a bit of a loner before the rest of us decided to drag him into the light of friendship.”

“That’s… certainly one way of putting it,” Shiro said.

“And I’m Roman-slash-Prince, because I love being dramatic, speak Spanish even though the rest of you don’t, and am utterly, unabashedly obsessed with Disney films!” Lance threw his hands up into the air with a grin.

“ _Nnnnnnot_ the reasoning I was expecting for yourself,” Pidge said. “But it does make sense? And I’m perfectly happy with being Logan. He is indeed the smart, science-y one.”

“Infinitesimal,” Hunk reminded her.

“Adultery,” she shot back.

“ _What?”_ Keith asked, turning to Shiro. “What are they…?”

“It’s a running gag in the series,” Shiro assured him.

“Okay, but…” Pidge tilted her head. “Hm. You could switch out Shiro with either Keith or Hunk here, no problem. Keith’s been the Black Paladin, and if Shiro’s PTSD doesn’t count as an anxiety disorder, then I’m calling bullshit on the entire field of psychology.”

“Little too blunt there,” Lance said, wincing. “Accurate, but…”

“Rude,” Hunk supplied. “You were rude.”

“…sorry,” Pidge sighed. “But we could also probably slot Shiro into Morality just by virtue of the terrible dad jokes and being a nice dude.”

“I don’t think I’d work as the Thomas in this, though,” Hunk said.

“Sure you would,” Pidge said. “You’re the mediator.”

Hunk stared at her for a moment, opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it with a look of confusion. “Huh.”

“She’s right,” Lance said. “About both changes. I still think my original choices made the most sense, though.”

“Counter-argument,” Pidge said. “Anxiety is the part that keeps him from making impulsive decisions by making check things twice and reconsider risky options. Whereas _Keith_ …”

Everyone turned to look at Keith.

“Screw you,” he said.

“…well, it’s not _perfect_ ,” Lance said.

“What would that make Allura and Coran, though?” Pidge asked.

“Those two friends that help him make the videos?” Hunk suggested. “I’m… blanking on the names but—”

“Joan and Talyn,” Lance said promptly.

Pidge coughed into her hand again. “Dork.”

“I’m sorry for getting _invested_ in the shows I like,” Lance said, feigning offense. “They were key members of the production!”

“I still don’t know what’s going on,” Keith grumbled, sitting down next to Shiro and crossing his legs. He had no need of crossing his arms, as he had not, at any point, _un_ crossed them.

Shiro patted him on the shoulder. “We’ll show you a few videos just so you’re less confused, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the silliest thing I've written in a long time, and I've written some sincerely silly things. I just want to apologize to everyone who reads this, because... yeah, no.
> 
> (Not gonna lie, I kind of high-key want to see, like, _actual art_ of the team cosplaying as the Sanders Sides now, just because I think it would be hilarious. I'm a little scared to look it up, though, because if it exists then I wasn't being original.)
> 
> EEEEEEEEEY SOMEONE DREW ART FOR THE FIC, GO CHECK IT OUT AND REBLOG IT: http://phoenixyfriend.tumblr.com/post/164491037770/malaayna-fanart-inspired-by-pheonixyfriends


End file.
